Previous justifications of the week    

 

 

" I'm too old to look for a new relationship "


When to use: When you'd rather settle than forge ahead

When not to use: To talk yourself out of dating. If you don't want to date, don't. Why bother wasting an excellent justification on a reason to reduce self-inflicted torture?

Comments: The truly excellent bit of this justification is that it is so deceptively convincing. There is, after all, a correct timeline for being in a serious relationship, right? It's supposed to come at a particular point in one's life, either while you are still young, or if divorced or widowed, within a short period following. Right? Well....no, actually. That correct timeline is just an idea. It's a thought in your head. And it's an example of how your thoughts not only mislead; they can hurt you, too.

Settling isn't a bad thing. If you've lived a full life, partied to your soul's content, and experienced a thousand splendid something-or-others, then by all means, settle. There are good reasons to settle, after all. And yet, there are bad reasons, and those are usually based in fear. And if that's where you're at, then here's what's in store should you settle: a vague uneasiness will plague your days. You will feel incomplete, harrassed by the ordinary chores of life, and precious few moments will taste sweet. Morning will be worse, for in those moments shortly after you've awoke, that uneasiness will morph into abject distress, taunting you about your wasted life. Sound awful. It should. You've turned your back on your ambition, marginalized your self-worth, and virtually abandoned your potential. How else should you feel?

If this is where you're at, you can always do something about it, such as recognize it's an irrational fear, accept it as part of who you are, and devise a plan for not being taken in by it. But let's face it, you're a self-deceiver. And self-deceivers never face anything they can justify their way out of ;-)

" You can't have too much of something so long as you collect it "


When to use: No. The question is “When not to use?”

When not to use: Never

Comments: Needing a way to justify your greed? Look no further. Anything can be collected: Money, clothes, shoes, gold and exercise machines, as well as experiences like sex, drugs, and grand larceny. I'm sure you've got a few of your own to add.

Whatever is your vice, collecting transmutes it from Vice to Hobby. Why shouldn’t sex be a hobby? Better a hobby than an obsession. Obsessions are too time-consuming, after all.

But what if the collection you amass reaches the proportions of Imelda Marcos’s shoe collection and people look upon you with a mixture of amazement and disgust? No worries; just use another justification: “I don’t like them anyway.”

 

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